Thoughts of my heart that only God can see.

How much more of this do I have to take O' Lord? How much more of people taking their foolish decisions out on me?? It's not my fault that people are too proud to ask God for help in dealing with their problems. It's not my fault that people make the mistake of falling into addiction, to the false sense of security, and happiness that doing drugs, drinking alcohol, and sexual immorality brings. It's not my fault that God holds people accountable for all that they do, good or bad. It's not my fault that people reject Gods love and end up looking for love in all the wrong places and ways. It's not my fault that people cause problems for themselves limiting their opportunitirs in life by doing drugs. It's not my fault that women try to reslove their problems by having sex, and people end up talking about how much of a whore they are behind their back. 

There are a whole host of things that people do to themselves then take it out on me. Take responsibility!! God is God, and He made the rules, so if I believe in God and people slander me, and set themselves up as my enemy because I am God-fearing, then who are people really fighting against. God, not me, again, God says that fornication and adultery are punishable sins, and I believe him, so people are calling God crazy, not me. What's crazy is how people judge me for not doing things that God condemns. We are all accountable to God right here, right now, not just when we die, so all that what people are saying about me, they are saying those things about God because it is the work that He has done that has made me the way that I am. People need to consider who it is they are really slandering, and stop flapping their mouth against God. God says that they who sin against Him wrong their own soul, and that all they who hate Him love death, so keep talking.... Keep fighting against the Lord.... You have already lost and you do not even know it. If I were you I would be quaking in my boots. Doesn't have to be that way though, you can be willing to repent of the sin that's killing you, and receive God's heart transforming love, and salvation. I can speak from experience and tell you that God is not lying when He says that He will give you a comforter, His Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ is the permanent solution to all life's and death's problems, and if you reject it or deny it then you are doing those things to God, not me.

A light in the darkness.

I am a light that was born from darkness. Born into darkness, despair, debauchee and depravity, into a family that was supposed to love me but all I ever felt from them was hatred. I was lost in the lying ways of the world that taught me that if it feels good, do it, it's all good no matter how bad you injure yourself or another person. I am not dwelling in my past, the past I've put behind me, the past others seem to think I have not tasted of. Why would I want to be the kind of person that lie's steals robs, and kills so I can get my fix through sex, drugs, and alcohol - destroying my body, mind, and spirit?? If we are all born into sin, are flawed, inadequate, sinful and powerless to save ourselves, then why should look to you to save me? I know what the darkness holds, no thank you I don't want any part of it.